A while ago I heard a talk by Monica de las Heras in which he spoke of NLP. I thought it was great and that's why I want to share with you some of the keys that can serve you in your "chores" day, both corporate and private.
3 KEY KEYS TO PUBLIC SPEAKING
- NATURAL be yourself, have no fear of ridicule, in fear that something bad out, not pretend like everyone, nothing happens and you have to cut your veins. Public speaking is to communicate as you do with friends but with more people listening.
- HUMILITY. Humildad front of superiority, if someone asks me something that is not, simply say that I do not know. We should not be afraid to stay blank, people do not know what I'll tell them, therefore, if I forget something anyone knowing. Create empathy with an anecdote: how to explain you tripped over a lamp and, 1No people laugh but then say poor ... (empathy).
- SPEAKING FROM THE HEART, muéstrate humano, make people laugh and provokes emotions, care, pretend not liked around the world is impossible. Speak with open hands, oratory, means I'm doing a service to people who listen to me and I have nothing to hide (not point your finger or close your fists). Make pauses.
With these three keys lose the fear of communicating in public and you move forward with your presentations or talks.
New Tools: The Emotional Intelligence and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming)
It's fascinating for communication, because it will allow us to know ourselves and know the people that I have in front, we can also realize things that we did not previously fijábamos. Any interested group communicate better. Emotional intelligence makes us grow and can grow.
Emotional intelligence is the instruction manual on how to operate those. When we were born should be given to our mother the book to find ... (How to get emotional, I like entristezco, as anger me ...).
Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence says, people are hired for their technical skills and fired for their lack of emotional skills. That better be 4 Race and 5 master if you can not manage a team, if you can not manage the HR.
La IE, is to manage your emotions, the ultimate goal is to be happier, we all fit something more to happiness.
We have 6 emotions that come as standard, we have them all
- FEAR
- SADNESS
- ASCO
- ANGER
- JOY
- SURPRISE
As if it were a horse chariot, if we take control of our emotions, these run wild and we had a sadness to depression, the joy of the false euphoria, etc., etc.. If we master emotions get the serenity, beat inside, lose the fear of ridicule, the equivocarnos, learn to respond naturally and be better people. Being a good person means having a good indoor, these good people and its interior is who should emulate.
One thing is emotions (enfadarnos, rejoice, entristecernos, etc.) and another thing is the EMOTIONAL LOAD, have emotional intelligence is not happy or let cool step, but, be able to set limits without losing respect, neither mistreat someone, or shout.
Says Daniel Goleman Psicólogo, If anger reaches the amygdala we burst, is what is called tonsillar kidnapping, blood boils when I have you to count to 10 o hasta 100, what we need. When this situation arises we must ask; Is this important enough for me to mistreat anyone? Is it justified that I yell at someone? Will it make things better for someone who does not respect? If the answer is no, is not worth. We can get angry but without anger, it is the emotional burden of anger.
Not easy control, because we have habits, but we can change, if it is scientifically proven that every human being can learn things throughout his life, Why can not we learn to master our emotions? People say ... is that I am as I am and can not change, worse for you as well. We can change, be happier and better people, all can improve and any time is good to get to it.
We have 2 ears and 1 mouth because we should listen twice as much as we speak (this is a metaphor constructed from right hemisphere our brain). Not the same if someone speaks from the right hemisphere (creativity, imaginative, sensitive, metaphorical, etc.) that from the left (rational and logical).
We must listen to the 5 senses for a complete reading lenguaje no verbal people, sometimes what is said with his mouth does not match what is said with the body.
Adopting a posture of neutrality cuando communicate in, straight body, feet at shoulder height, knees slightly bent, stretched arms or hands back when we do not speak and finally the arms and hands come alive when we talk.
Cesar Millán, if we do control our emotions will be a balanced leaders.
If we said that Emotional Intelligence is our particular instructions the NLP (Neuro Programming) we would like to communicate Scheduled, the instruction manual of our relationship with others, thus we have everything to communicate.
NLP tells us: life is not what happens to us but what we believe happens to us, to us to be happy or bitter with the things that happen to us. If you're married and get divorced 8 Sometimes you may think that you have failed continuously, or you enjoyed 8 wedding 8 Honeymoons, 8 husbands or wives and you've divorced 8 times because you have loved.
NLP. It's called, Neuro because it tells us how we think and speak the English language as.
NLP has some presuppositions that say they can change our perspectives. Each person has their own brain map created from birth and shaped by their own experiences, therefore only. What right have we to judge other people with different life map to our, each person chooses different circumstances and lives to ours. We must always respect that are not harmful. All maps are respectable. At your age you can have all kinds of people.
Another fundamental axiom of NLP is that, I can not not communicate. I'm always communicating, but are silent, we communicate with the look, with body posture, with smile, etc..
The result of the communication is the response you get, always ask Have I explained? Have you not understood me? The responsibility is ours, no others.
There is no failure, soil feedback.
Perceive things by 5 senses sight, ear, smell, touch and taste. But there is always a sense that prevails in each person and use more by personal map.
EL SISTEMA VAK (Visual Auditive Kinestésico) It is an amazing tool. There are people taste (example cooks), Olfactory people (example sumaliers), no smell and taste many people in the world, why they are included in the section you are kinesthetic sensory people.
When one speaks in public must speak three languages, visual, auditivo y kinestésico, because the public will have three types of people. If we listen and analyze know what kind of people are the three. Our mind puts ideas, but our NLP is putting in our mouth or some other words.
In the visuales are purely auditory kinesthetic, but if there are certain characteristics for each type. If you're visual-kinesthetic you communicate it better with someone like you who have a hearing. If you talk to a hearing will have to use their "language".
- Visual People. These are people think in pictures, often breathe breathing high clavicularmente making talk fast and high, has a more upright posture and use visual predicates do you see? Do you have clear? ¿os lo imagináis?. A person who is very visual place the clothes in the closet by color.
- Hearing People. They think sounds, words, Songs, noise. Sometimes when you talk put the ear, breathing is thoracic and speak neither as high or as fast as the visual. They have a less rigid stance and use auditory words, Do you sound? I'm explaining it right??.
- Kinesthetic People. They think of sensations, remember when you thought yesterday was great ..., May batches than brilliant, etc.. Have an abdominal breathing, speak low and slow, good to convey messages to reach the heart or head.
We talked in our NLP. When I tell a fun story high and fast, is the structure of the joke and why it works. A visual, a kinesthetic and auditory go to a restaurant for dinner together, the next day we asked how about dinner yesterday and their responses would be:
- Visual, I was in a lovely restaurant, There were some pictures on the walls, beautifully decorated, bright, well organized tables, very nice chairs. This visual highlight.
- Auditory, I was in a very quiet restaurant, you could talk without problem, There was music with songs of our time, there was no noise. This would a hearing.
- Kinestésico, last night I was at a restaurant ate great, walked and I gave you a wonderful whiff of food, everything was delicious, chairs were super comfortable and the waiter was very friendly. That would highlight a kinesthetic.
To reach all kinds of people in a talk published must include metaphors, visual, auditivas y kinestésicas. A PowerPoint will have a great visual pictures, a hearing will the many phrases, kinesthetic not need PowerPoint, will explain a metaphor or anecdote and you send the message you want to get well.
Calibration and rapport. To tune to the person you are, get in their positions without exaggeration, follow their gestures, subtly mimic, etc.. Finally get mutual attention, hacemos rapport so naturally. To improve communication taking similar positions to where we can. This is normally adapt.
Learn calibrate and make rapport we can let you know if a person is lying or telling the truth. Battered women lying on the doctor do kinesthetic talking low and not giving details, with body language that betrays the lie, do not look at eyes, ashamed, are distressed, afraid. A woman falls down the stairs and tells the truth, speaks rapidly visual and high giving all details.
The three types of language:
LENGUAJE NO verbal (and the first thing we see before we get in 7 Seconds make us the first idea of the person we see) occupying a 55% of our communication.
LANGUAGE VOICE paraverbal (although we understand not perceive the tone) occupying a 38%.
Lenguaje VERBAL (is the message we get) occupying a 7%.
The subconscious does not act out of control. Hence we must pay special attention to gestures 1, 2No tone of voice and 3rd to the message we want to reach. It is not easy, but we can get it with practice, the same way that once we learned to drive a car.